Hahaha I wish! I've been forced to attend some fancy-schmancy parties. My dad has been pretty good about getting out of most of the over-the-top weddings, birthdays, and holiday parties. It really isn't our family's style. But occasionally I have been forced to put on my great-grandmother's jewelry, dress nice, and interact with the worlds most pompous asshats while sniffing wine.

When I was 17, for entertainment, I decided to talk about the internet, deepweb, hackers, and all sorts of crazy made up shit. My brother and I went full force. These rich folks have their circles of republican nonsense, tax evasion, investments, real estate etc. My brother and I had our super secret club of millionaire hackers who were so far ahead of the banks' older security teams that we could do anything. The Wall Street Journal had the occasional story about hackers so the other party attendees had vague knowledge of the existence of such groups.

My parents put a stop to that pretty quickly though after one guest commented, "I can't believe you have wi-fi at the house and let your children on the internet! Who knows what sort of naughty things they may find!" We didn't have wi-fi. We had a 100ft cable that my brother and I had to share - with both our bedrooms being outside the 100ft range. No naughtiness for either of us.