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I'm sure your wife's version would be far more entertaining :)

As for spirituality, I once took a year long bible study course because I thought to myself, "I need to know what all the fuss is about". I played the devils advocate for 12 months and the others in the class loved it. They were very accepting and courteous and appreciated having their beliefs challenged. At the end of the course the Pastor that led it asked me what I thought of Christ? My response was that after studying the bible and the new testament in general, I had concluded that "there are many paths to God (or enlightenment)", not just Christ. She really surprised me with her response, she said "I don't disagree with you, the key is to pick one of the paths". -I think she is right. It's like Mr. Miyagi said, "Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later, get squish just like grape".

Choose a path.