a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment
_refugee_  ·  4037 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Ghosting, the Irish goodbye, the French leave: stop saying goodbye at parties.

I am a huge ghoster. Part of this derives from the fact that I tend to go to bed early while many of the friends I go out with like to stay out quite late. This turns into them in general giving me a hard time when it's 10 and I (used to) announce my departure. I have also had instances where one or two good friends tend to get very clingy when drunk, to the point where in college they would attempt to make me stay at the party. I don't play that way. So I started ghosting. What I generally do, however, is find one person at the party (usually a close and relatively sober friend) and let them know that I am leaving. This way, in 30-60 minutes when people are wondering where I am, that person can pipe up and inform them I left. It feels a little less rude that way.

I don't ghost if it's a small group but a party or even a large group at a bar? Sure. Goodbyes can take time if you're saying one to everyone, plus there's always that friend who you have to track down to say bye to. Don't say bye and you bypass (ha) that problem.

I am actually notorious for doing this in my group of friends. I think part of it is my streak of stubborn independence: if I decide to leave, I'm not interested in someone else trying to make me stay. So I skip it.