I don't know about the rest of the hubski community, but if any quality of me could best define who I am, it would be that I constantly try to better myself. I started as someone who had it bad (poor but hardworking broken family, bad at relationships with both women and men, and no self-declared goals among other things), but as the saying goes "the first step is to realize there is a problem". So I began to accept responsibility for my actions and thoughts. I started to want to think and act for myself and accept the consequences. I remember thinking for years that in order to get along with others I had to "go with the flow", as I said to a few people long ago. I have always been a skeptic but when I trusted people enough, it became easier to accept what they believe would best for me on faith alone. When I discovered that that I did better when I questioned logic for myself, it allowed me to accept responsibility.

Now, when I feel guilty, I study the situation and try to understand if I had in fact done something wrong. If I hadn't, I dismiss the guilt I was feeling because there is no rational argument that would correctly conclude that I was guilty. Sometimes the guilty will persist. In such a case I repeat the process again to see if I missed something. In it still persists I try to gather more information, Rinse and repeat.

If I had done something wrong, then I accept responsibility for my actions and try to make amends if possible. If not possible, then I try to accept that not everything can fixed. This sucks, but that's life sometimes. I try my best to move on and do better next time. I have learned from my mistakes, but that doesn't make it any less painful. Are you falling short in situations with aspects that are within your control? Yes? How are you going to fix it?